· Doctor, cut off my dog's tail.Vet: Why do u want to do that?Coz my mom-in-law is visiting us & I don't want anything to make her think she's welcomed.
· Jodhpur jail ordered the purchase order of 999 shirts n 1000 pants for inmates.Guess y this odd combination? Salman Khan is coming.
· Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY. Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed! Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?
· What's the diff between Dava &d Daru? Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
· Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi Hon, Sabko Punjab aur Haryana bhej do.
· May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever...Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty
· Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?Student: Father-in-Law!
· Bhagwan apki umar lambi karey! Bhagwan apko Naukri de!Bhagwan apko Khush rakhe! Bhagwan apko Barkat de! Yaad ho gaya?Chal phir Katora utha aur shooru ho ja
· Girl announced her engagement to her father.Father: Does this fellow has any money?Girl: Oh! Dad, U men r all alike, thats exactly what he asked me about u!
· Nasha aankho me hota hai Sharaab mein nahin,Sharddha Dil me hoti hai Mandir mein nahin.....Dosti SMS karne se badhti hai, SMS padhne se nahi....
· Ap ki awaz KOYAL Jaisi, Aankhain HIRAN Jaisi, Chaal MOR jaisi, Aadtain BANDAR Jaisi. Acha hota agar koi ek cheez Insanon Wali Bhi Hoti
· If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
· Education is incomplete without 5 B'sB - BikesB - BeersB - BabesB - Bunks and the most importantB - Backlogs!
· Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika? Dono ne kapde tyag diye, ek ne desh ke liye, doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!
· Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.
· 1980 girls: Maan mei Jeans pehanungi Maan : Nahin beti log kya kahengey? 2006 girls: Maan mein mini skirt pehanungi Maan: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!
· Why did Saddam Hussein attack Kuwait?He had an Arabic baby-sitter, who always used to say 'Keep Quwait, Keep Quwait'.
· Once in a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALA But girraffe was not eating. Why? Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND
· Tension happens in brain and love is felt in heart. Then why do people get heart attack when they are tensed and why people get mad when they are in love?
· Girl: If u'll try to kiss me, main shor macha doongi. Boy: Lekin yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahin hai. Girl: I know but formality to karni hi padegi…
· Only once in your life u'll get a right person with whom u'll get married, so, till than keep enjoying with the wrong Ones!
· Gud Morning! Aap ye soch rahe honge ki Raat ko Gud Morning kaise?Simple! Phone mera, Paise mere, Msg mera, toh marzi bhi meri! Jo marzi aayega wo bhejunga.
· Elephant falls in Luv with Ant, but Ant's parents were against their marriage. Guess why?They gave a Solid Reason: Kehnde Munde de dand Bahar ne.
· Train mein TT Sadhu se bola: Kahan jana hai? Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha. TT: Ticket hai? Sadhu: Nahin TT: Chalo Sadhu: Kahan? TT: Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
· Pappu: Dad, mein biwi nu sms kita ki main Raat nu aunga, ghar aaya te kisi hor de nal suti si.Dad: Puttar galti mobile company di aa, jede time nal sms nahi bhejde!
· Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain? Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai. Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte.
· Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!
· Girl's excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear. Isliye SMS kiya karo dear without fear n very clear.
· Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment... warm b'coz AC doesn't work & motherly because Air hostesses are above 50.
· Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha.2nd day doosri ladki k saath dekha gaya.3rd day koi aur ladki thi.4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha.Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey.
· Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai, aaj nahin aaya, kaha na kabhi kabhi aata hai.
· Ek Tapori ki wife: Sunte ho ji, Apne chinku ne aaj pehla aadha shabd bola.Tapori: Achcha, Kya bola ?Wife: Behan...
· Red Rose: Luv Yelloe Rose: Friendship White Rose: Peace Which Rose for u? Nima Rose. Tan ki Durgandh Dur Kare, De Taazgi
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